( ephemera stays. of course. they had a similar conversation not so long ago: felix offers him an out, and for whatever reason he doesn't take it. he's steady despite felix's push and pull, the turbulently swinging pendulum of this moment. steady when he shouldn't be, when it doesn't make sense for him to be anything but on edge.
like felix. )
I kissed you first, too. I do that.
( closes distances. leverages his body and mouth as a weapon, then forces the distance back into place in the roiling aftermath – with violence, if necessary.
his palm flexes over ephemera's chest and presses in firmly, stilling the telltale quivering through his fingertips. ephemera wouldn't stop him if he walked around him and left. then what? they circle back to the same goddamn place eventually? the city brings them together in a new, disastrous way? he has a knife. he won't be able to kill him in a full rig without catching him off guard, but he doesn't need to kill him. just needs to make a point and stop the fucking pendulum.
he'll be swallowed up by sound unless he moves, lost to the noise in his head. his knuckles skim ephemera's chest plate as he lets his hand fall back to his side. make a decision. force it, like in the hallway. in the arena. on that rooftop where ephemera almost bled out.
strange how it gets harder every time. )
Ephemera. ( for once, he doesn't know what to say. the right words. the correct order of words that will make everything stop. fuck. he pinches his fingers over the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut briefly. ) I can't. You make me fucking nervous.
no subject
like felix. )
I kissed you first, too. I do that.
( closes distances. leverages his body and mouth as a weapon, then forces the distance back into place in the roiling aftermath – with violence, if necessary.
his palm flexes over ephemera's chest and presses in firmly, stilling the telltale quivering through his fingertips. ephemera wouldn't stop him if he walked around him and left. then what? they circle back to the same goddamn place eventually? the city brings them together in a new, disastrous way? he has a knife. he won't be able to kill him in a full rig without catching him off guard, but he doesn't need to kill him. just needs to make a point and stop the fucking pendulum.
he'll be swallowed up by sound unless he moves, lost to the noise in his head. his knuckles skim ephemera's chest plate as he lets his hand fall back to his side. make a decision. force it, like in the hallway. in the arena. on that rooftop where ephemera almost bled out.
strange how it gets harder every time. )
Ephemera. ( for once, he doesn't know what to say. the right words. the correct order of words that will make everything stop. fuck. he pinches his fingers over the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut briefly. ) I can't. You make me fucking nervous.