[ What does that matter? Ephemera wants to ask, staring up at Felix as the world blurs around them. What’s that fucking matter with all we’ve lost? They weren’t all orphans like Ephemera but most of them were, most of them knew what it felt like to lose family or never had it in the first place. Water under the bridge, he’d thought, because we’ve got each other now and what’s it matter what came before when we’ve got this now?
It didn’t last. Sometimes he thinks that’s karma for all the evil shit they did in the war. Sometimes he thinks about that and sketches out their corpses until he screams. Felix doesn’t know about that. Ephemera’s been careful. He’s been so careful not to let that piece slip away from him.
He stares back at Felix and the sky above and feels blood ticking through his hair. Soaking into the ground. He thinks about glassing and what it smells like after a planet dies. And he thinks about their people, armor sundered, buried in pieces, and he thinks he’d scream if he could catch his breath. But Felix knocked the wind out of him and maybe the fight too, and this -
It twists. It’s too much. And Felix’s voice is too goddamn calm and Ephemera grabs weakly at his wrist, uncoordinated and slow. For a moment, he wonders if Felix is going to snap his neck. A stranger would. And aren’t they strangers to each other? ]
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It didn’t last. Sometimes he thinks that’s karma for all the evil shit they did in the war. Sometimes he thinks about that and sketches out their corpses until he screams. Felix doesn’t know about that. Ephemera’s been careful. He’s been so careful not to let that piece slip away from him.
He stares back at Felix and the sky above and feels blood ticking through his hair. Soaking into the ground. He thinks about glassing and what it smells like after a planet dies. And he thinks about their people, armor sundered, buried in pieces, and he thinks he’d scream if he could catch his breath. But Felix knocked the wind out of him and maybe the fight too, and this -
It twists. It’s too much. And Felix’s voice is too goddamn calm and Ephemera grabs weakly at his wrist, uncoordinated and slow. For a moment, he wonders if Felix is going to snap his neck. A stranger would. And aren’t they strangers to each other? ]
Let me finish it. Just let me finish the mission.