duplicity inbox / cw for nsfw shenanigans.

[unlawful]

TEXT / VOICE / VIDEO / ACTION NOTE: felix generally responds to everything in text, even voice or video calls. expect 90% of his replies to be text-based regardless of urgency.

Comments

[unlawful]

uh huh
sure you are big guy

( if he didn't already die, he sure as fuck came close to it. felix sent drake the text, as promised, after rolling ephemera on his side and stripping off his jacket to ball it up under his stupid fucking head to keep him elevated. ephemera was already gone, at that point, unconscious and not responding to his name. it made ripping the tear in his pants a simple task, tying the wound off on his thigh to staunch the bleeding.

then he waited on the fringes, until he heard the pounding of steps near the rooftop door, and left the same way he came in, silently closing the hatch behind him. back to the down. back to drinking himself into a miniature coma. back to not giving a single fuck until now.

good ol' reliable drake. nice guy, probably. guys like that were always cursed to the bloodiest deaths, back home. )

it must help or you wouldn't fucking do it
twice now you've put my face down on paper
do you do this a lot?

[requiemshark]

[ The only problem with that, of course, is that getting his hands on whoever's responsible for this latest round of bullshit is a touch harder than just deciding to do it. Duplicity's one game after another, each a little worse than the last. Someone got their hands on his sketchbooks. For a moment, Ephemera considers breaking out a lighter and what's left of his cigarettes and just making himself a little bonfire on the roof. Another fuck you to the world.

He doesn't. He just throws his phone at the wall hard enough to crack the screen. ]

why do you fucking care

[unlawful]

that is the question isn't it

( why does he care. that's dangerous territory, and felix needs to be ten times more sober to field this properly, with the delicacy of a fucking eod technician. he wasn't planning on talking to ephemera again. not this soon. definitely not like this. )

i've got about ten different routes i can take in answering it
route one: because fucking with you brings me indescribable joy
that what you want me to say? that's what i want me to say

[requiemshark]

why didn't you kill me on the roof

[ Different angle to the same goddamn question. Felix could just as easily turn it back on him. ]

[unlawful]

better question:
why the fuck did i come there without my kit, ephemera?

[requiemshark]

boredom. or a death wish.

[ It's funny. Sometimes the world seems so fucking loud, impossible to survive without armor. And then the quiet moments come up in his blind spot and wreck him. There's no winning when it gets like that. ]

same reason i did. it made sense.

[unlawful]

nothing about this shit makes any semblance of sense you dumb motherfucker
but i didn't kill you because we both know that's not how it should've gone down

( if felix wanted him instantaneously dead he would've drawn his sidearm first, not the knife. he's a good shot. he wasn't lying about that. )

it's like i told you in that shitty hallway
you're no good to me
draw my face as much as you want but stay off my dick if you don't want me grabbing yours

[requiemshark]

i didnt send this, asshole. i dont take pictures. its just another trick

[ More of the same. Something thrown out into the universe to provoke a reaction and goddamn did it deliver. His phone's cracked but still functional and more than anything - more than anything right now - Ephemera wants to put his fist through the wall. Scream.

He doesn't. He holds, and he texts Felix, and none of it - not a goddamn thing - fits how it ought to. It ought to be violent, he thinks. Because then at least he'd know how he's meant to react. Then, he could fall back to reflex and stop thinking himself in circles. ]

and apparently you're drunk or just bored. go fucking figure.

[unlawful]

oh fuck off dude please
i've profiled the shit out of your tortured artist ass
i know you didn't send it

( that's, like, excessively obvious. )

doesn't explain why you drew it in the first place

[requiemshark]

cute. you get that from Price or you come up with that all on your own?

[ All these people trying to profile him, like it's some big goddamn revelation when they connect the dots. Like any of this is a secret he's trying to hide. It's just what he is, how he forces the universe into some semblance of alignment. Even the guards on the Tartarus let him have pens and scrap paper. Better to give him something to do than nothing, at least then it'd save them manpower. Better to give him the flimsiest excuse for a weapon rather than empty hours with nothing to do but throw himself into fights. ]

i draw shit, you're not fucking special.

[unlawful]

fuck price, i learned this shit growing up
i get that from you being a really fucking easy read without your rig
no wonder you're losing your goddamn mind without it

( says felix, who is most certainly losing his goddamn mind with or without his rig. )

special enough you wanted to get me down more than once
special enough you're flinching away from the question like i've got a live frag
if it doesn't matter, why make a memory permanent?

[requiemshark]

[ Thing is, that's a barb everyone in the goddamn universe has been throwing at him ever since he first joined up. You telegraph everything, you've got no fucking poker face. Put your goddamn helmet on, rookie, I swear to Christ. The instructors tried to beat it out of him and he learned, oh, he fucking learned, but apparently not well enough. Even the sergeant gave up and just yelled at him to keep his helmet on. And he can't around here.

Not yet. Not until the time comes. Of course Felix noticed. Why wouldn't he? Everyone else does. ]

because one thing in the goddamn universe should look the way it's supposed to. you happy? that's fucking why

[unlawful]

i'm never happy
if you knew that you'd stop answering me

( no amount of enough is ever enough. ephemera drew him in vivid detail, but felix doesn't see himself when he looks at the sketch. he sees a stranger with his throat exposed, mortally vulnerable and unraveling at the edges. he sees the seconds after that moment, when the world went quiet. )

[requiemshark]

i should have stabbed you in the goddamn face.

[ Should have. Didn't. That's the part that keeps tripping him up. ]

but this place. this fucking place. nothing gets to lie, does it?

[unlawful]

stabbed me in the face
shot me in the head
shoved a blade into my throat when i took off my helmet
lots of things you should've done but we don't operate in should haves

( should've done all of this on the rooftop, too, but felix isn't talking about that encounter. that encounter was a result, brought on by a particularly fraught catalyst. unavoidable. expected. )

do you know why i kissed you, terrence?

[requiemshark]

have a feeling you're going to tell me

[unlawful]

because i wanted to

( because he wanted him out of his head. )

because i do whatever the fuck i want whenever the fuck i want to do it and you're just collateral damage
i wanted to kiss you
i wanted you on top of me
i wanted my tongue in your mouth like how i wanted you to put a bullet in my brain to shut me the fuck up
motherfucker
go sit and spin miserably on that

[requiemshark]

you wanted to make it quiet.

[ He hates that he understands. That it makes sense in some simple, fundamental way. Like a bullet to the brain. Everything laid out stark and brutal. Ephemera flexes his hands and wonders if he wants to say fuck it and get drunk. End this, however temporarily. ]

and now?

[unlawful]

( now. fuck. like that doesn't have a more fucked up answer than anything else he's told him. )

now i want you to fuck off before i kiss you again and make this shit even worse

[requiemshark]

[ There's a pause. The easiest thing would be to just step back. Retreat into himself or one of the murals he's tossed up. Lose himself in the art, however temporarily.

Yeah. That would be the smart thing. ]

then why respond at all

[unlawful]

poor impulse control
i can't help myself
i'm extremely accustomed to getting the last word after over a decade of working with locus
pick one or all three or none, i don't care

i don't particularly give a fuck how much i fuck you up, which is really the important factor here.

[requiemshark]

you aren't the one who fucks me up. came in too late for that.

[ Half a lie. The damage was done long before they ever crossed paths. This is just the aftermath. ]

[unlawful]

nah terrence
i didn't fuck you up
but i do fuck you up

[requiemshark]

nobody calls me terrence anymore

[ A dodge. Not a very good one. ]

[unlawful]

( even over text, he's an easy read. )

good thing i'm a nobody then, huh?