duplicity inbox / cw for nsfw shenanigans.

[unlawful]

TEXT / VOICE / VIDEO / ACTION NOTE: felix generally responds to everything in text, even voice or video calls. expect 90% of his replies to be text-based regardless of urgency.

Comments

[unlawful]

different strokes for different folks and some folks like it fucked up
i hit skip on the majority of that shit by only fucking people who i kinda wanna murder and who kinda wanna murder me, makes things infinitely less complicated in the long run

you met him here? your dom?

[notleavingquietly]

I kind of want to murder everyone, and I kind of want to murder them more if I like them.

I met him here almost immediately after I arrived.

[unlawful]

you are the long-suffering type, aren't you? kinda do it to yourself though

touching
do you believe in fate?

[notleavingquietly]

It's possible I have a mild masochistic streak.

Absolutely not.

[unlawful]

look at us having shit in common

pure luck then? russian roulette and you hit the one bullet in the chamber?
you must love him

[notleavingquietly]

I am shocked.

I didn't realize we were specifically talking about him. In retrospect, fairly inevitable as the result of our individual actions to that point, who we are, and proximity.

Of course I love him. He's an asshole.

I also arranged someone who could take my contract in the event of his disappearance. The last time I lost someone I loved, it ended badly. I'd like to avoid a repeat performance.

[unlawful]

very practical of you
how bad we talking? you blow up another ship?

[notleavingquietly]

No, just my career. Tortured a couple of people and broke someone's neck for being between me and a console I needed to use.

[unlawful]

if all else fails, go feral
very deranged and sexy of you
personally i'm not on my evil and maniacal torturing a-game while i'm in the process of losing my shit so i can only imagine what that looked like on your end. is that why you fucked off from the peacekeepers?

[notleavingquietly]

No, when you're in the process of losing your shit, what you destroy is yourself.

I certainly didn't leave because of a logical and reasoned decision that they were immoral. My only priority was killing the person responsible and not letting the Peacekeepers kill me first.

[unlawful]

depends on where you start

i assume you got the guy and/or girl in the end
kinda tracks with everything else you've told me

[notleavingquietly]

Depends on where I start?

No. He wasn't actually responsible for Tauvo's death. I just needed ... a year or so to come down from my homicidal rage to realize that. Nice guy.

[unlawful]

you start low, you got a lot less to lose
a lot less further to fall, too

tauvo?

[notleavingquietly]

Yes, but at some point there is some inconvenient inevitability that comes back into play to complicate things.

My brother's name.

[unlawful]

inevitability is like that
comes for everyone eventually
kinda like karma

( sure as fuck came for him. )

if it wasn't his fault, whose fault was it?

[notleavingquietly]

As much as I would love someone to pin blame on and rage at, it was no one's fault. Just an accidental collision.

[unlawful]

wrong place, wrong time?
it's harder to swallow when there's no one to blame

( which is his sideways way of saying sorry for your loss. )

i didn't have siblings
just my mom

[notleavingquietly]

Probably why it took me a year to swallow it.

What was your mom like?

[unlawful]

soft, fanatical
a drunk
she was convinced i was cursed or regularly licking satan's ballsac or something

( not the most stable upbringing, if he's honest. )

honestly kind of fair
i was a fucking nightmare as a child

[notleavingquietly]

I feel as though I am required to suggest you talk to Magnus.

Were you particularly nightmarish as a child or a nightmare by virtue of being a child with a drunk mother?

[unlawful]

who the hell is magnus?

it's all relative, isn't it?
i don't think growing up in a cookie-cutter house with a perfect mother and a perfect life would've changed who i am
some shit is innate

[notleavingquietly]

A friend. He likes glitter. He turned Samil into a cat.

I grew up a pacifist - half grew up. Some things are innate. Some things are survival and can't be undone. I don't know where the line between them is.