duplicity inbox / cw for nsfw shenanigans.

[unlawful]

TEXT / VOICE / VIDEO / ACTION NOTE: felix generally responds to everything in text, even voice or video calls. expect 90% of his replies to be text-based regardless of urgency.

Comments

[protocol]

We both need a contract to get through this place. Mutual benefit. It's worked before, it can work again.

[unlawful]

i tried to kill you
multiple times

[protocol]

Can't say I'm thrilled about those attempts, but you've not managed it yet.

[unlawful]

not for lack of fucking trying

[protocol]

You're doing your best.

And you're wondering why I keep willingly subjecting myself to this shit with you instead of picking up a cute mild-mannered sub somewhere, is that it?

[unlawful]

it does raise a few concerning questions on your end, yes

[protocol]

Are you worried about me?

[unlawful]

wash i rly can't emphasize enough how little i am concerned with or abt you
call it childlike curiosity

[protocol]

Since it isn't doesn't actually have anything to do with what you're gonna get out of our apparent partnership, I'm just surprised you're bothering.

[unlawful]

oh i'm getting there
neatly rounds me out to my next point so ty for bringing us home

you're at a steeper disadvantage than i am by contracting w me

[protocol]

In what way?

[unlawful]

in a "felix has a few expectations" way
how bad do you wanna contract w me, wash?

[protocol]

So very, very badly.

Give me your list of demands.

[unlawful]

( joker voice: and here we go. )

first of all, non-negotiable:
i want a weapons permit
if you won't give me that much then you're wasting my time

second of all
i ain't living in that shithole in the up
i want private housing
also non-negotiable

third of all
my business is my own
you being my dom doesn't mean shit to me beyond convenience

[protocol]

[ his response comes almost immediately, like he really barely had to think about it. ]

Sure. And I can do you a few things better.

[unlawful]

( suspicious squinting intensifies

several minutes later: )

how do you figure that

[protocol]

One: You were thoughtful enough to leave me your knife and your rig to our good mutual friend Ephemera Sharkface, but there weren't any specifics to that stockpile of weapons you'd hoarded up without my notice. So they ended up with me.

You can have them back, on top of the permit. I might take a few things, if only as payment for having kept up with maintenance with them in your absence. I'm keeping the knife.

Two: Private housing's not just fine, but you can have a say in where we're going. I'm almost at a full year in this sex-fueled nightmare city, so if you're willing to wait for a few weeks, we'll have more options.

[unlawful]

( somehow he thought this would be a much harder sell. )

keep what you want, i don't give a shit
i'll replace whatever you take if i was esp fond of it
weapons are a dime a goddamn dozen in this place
just like weird sex toys

( the fact that someone hasn't yet profited on the marriage of both weapon and sex toy into one slightly horrific, lawsuit-happy union feels like a missed opportunity that felix is already primed to correct. )

sure
i can wait

[protocol]

Then we're set, aren't we?

I'll get the paperwork out of the way, give you a time and place to meet me to sign it. No limo and no roses, that ship's sailed.

[unlawful]

but i was rly looking forward to a limo

[protocol]

Just the limo?

[unlawful]

maybe a bottle of decent whiskey too
i'll pass on the roses

[protocol]

What about my plans for your big day out? It was all specially customized for you, after all.

[unlawful]

def fed my occasionally bloated ego and constant need for praise so you were spot on there
i think some of it was more for you than me tho

[protocol]

Only occasionally bloated? That's news to me.

Just because it was your big day out doesn't mean I can't have some fun with it.